Scary Movies

February 24, 2010

in random

The boys and I are still awake.

We went to bed at around 10:30 pm. Or rather, we started getting into bed at around 10:30 pm. When my husband is out of town, both boys like to sleep in the big bed with me. I let them. You know why? Because I am scared. I want to keep both of them in the same room with me, with the bedroom door locked. If I remember, I’ll have my Blackberry with me in case the phone line is cut off.

THAT is always the first thing to go.

You know what I am talking about. The movies. The scary movies.

I never watch them. Except the few movies I watched when I was younger before I knew better. I stay away because I know my brain will choose to replay the scenes at the most inconvenient moments. Even the ones that are not billed specifically as scary movies, the thrillers, now add to my psychological burden.

Just as we were finally settled down, after I had threatened hundreds of times that I would send the boys back to their rooms if they didn’t go to bed, RIGHT NOW!, we heard a noise. Something had fallen.

No. Some object was knocked down.

There is a difference, isn’t it? Inside my head. Fallen vs. Knocked down

The heater started up at the exact moment. Ok. So maybe it was just my overactive imagination. Wouldn’t be the first time. I decided to ignore it.

“What was that?” My oldest sat up. “Did you hear that?”

“Yup. I did.” Resigned to a restless, probably sleepless night. Again.

He lied back down. Thank goodness. I waited for the deep breathing that signals their drifting to sleep. In the mean time, I became more and more alert.

I am so exhausted, I thought. I really should try and fall asleep. That was probably nothing. Yup. It was NOTHING. Go to sleep, you crazy woman.

As on cue, all of the movie plots involving home invasion rose up to my consciousness, scenes after scenes played themselves out behind my tightly squeezed-shut eyelids. The consequences became more and more dire because my kids would be in the movies. I am ashamed to admit this, and I was shocked by myself, but at that moment, as the plots unfolded in my frenzied mind’s eye, each one worse than its predecessor, I thought to myself, “I wish I had a gun. I wish I had bought a gun and practiced at a firing range,” because I would do anything, anything, including something that’s so against my ingrained beliefs, to protect my boys from harm. All of a sudden, I couldn’t wait for them to be all grown-up and no longer living with me. They’d be in their own apartments. Safe and sound asleep. Exactly how I like them.

“Mom? I am still thinking about the noise.” Great. I don’t need to pass on my neurosis to my children. Is it too late?

“It’s probably nothing. Just go to sleep ok?”

But we both knew we wouldn’t be able to get any shuteye, thinking that there was someone in the house.

“What are you doing?” My oldest was alarmed as I got out of the bed.

“I am going to check it out.” I checked the cordless phone for a dial tone. Still working. GOOD! I handed him the phone, “Dial 911 if anything.”

“I am coming with you!”

“No. You are staying here with your brother!”  I searched the bedroom for a likely weapon. Both the steel Samurai sword and the steel Excalibur are too heavy for me to wield with any convincing malice. The wooden Samurai sword would have to do.

I opened the door and turned on all the lights from the light switches by the door. No scuttling of footsteps. GOOD! The downstairs of the house looked exactly the way we had left it. Messy. Perhaps we should have deliberately left Lego pieces on the floor as deterrent. I surveyed their bedrooms upstairs first. Nothing out of order. Internal sigh of relief.

“Are you really going to whack the bad guy with the sword?” My oldest appeared beside me.

“What are we doing?” Mr. Monk caught up with us.

“I am just going to check downstairs.”

“I am coming with you!” My oldest handed me the phone while he took the sword away from me.

“Me too!” Mr. Monk shouted.

The next ten minutes we searched the house, trying to locate the cause of the noise.

“Ah I know. It is THIS.” “No. Not it.” “Ok. It must have been THIS.” “No. Not it.” “Could it be THIS?” “No. Not that either.”

(Wouldn’t you know that as we walked around the house trying to solve the mystery, I was picking up the house along the way! I seriously need help!)

Finally, I saw a picture frame lying on the floor by a bookshelf.  ”Here’s what happened…” As the real Mr. Monk on TV would have said: The books next to it had apparently toppled and knocked the picture frame to the floor.

Mystery solved.

Back to bed for the boys. My oldest insisted on staying by my side “To guard you!”

“Please go to bed with your brother. He needs to be in bed.” For once, he left with his younger brother without arguing.

As I conclude this post, they are both sound asleep. I hope they were not traumatized by this incident. As for me? Well, when I picked up my Blackberry to bring it to bed with me, Never again without! I saw that my boss had sent out an email marked URGENT. Sleep is overrated anyway. At least in my neurotic world.

And I will never, ever, ever, watch another scary movie in my life. I scare myself enough.

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{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }

Michele February 24, 2010 at 1:12 am

Oh wow… how scary for you. I’m glad you’re all okay.

I can soooo totally relate to this.
It’s just Trinity and I in the house, and many nights I have laid awake becaue of a strange noise and the thoughts running through my head.
And until I had her, it didn’t bother me hardly at all. But, now with her sleeping in the next room, it brings a whole new life to stuff like that.

Hope you manage to get some well deserved rest tonight ;)
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submom February 25, 2010 at 10:05 am

Motherhood turns us paranoid. On top of everything else.


Wicked Shawn February 24, 2010 at 4:45 am

Two words: Alarm System.
Wicked Shawn´s last blog…Love Letters of Camelot…….. My ComLuv Profile


submom February 25, 2010 at 10:05 am

You and Jane talked me into it! My husband has always talked about “Just get the sign to put on the lawn!” Anybody selling their sign?!
submom´s last blog…Scary Movies My ComLuv Profile


Andrea February 24, 2010 at 4:59 am

My husband works nights, so I can relate. That’s when it pays to have a large dog as ill-mannered as mine. :)
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submom February 25, 2010 at 10:06 am

Big dogs. Check.

Will the fake recorded dog bark work?
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Nuage February 24, 2010 at 6:32 am

Oh you’re not alone. I scare myself too with scary movies and what I’ve read in the news.
When Bill’s out of town, I sleep with the lights on. And I always have my cell phone (charging) by the bed.
Give D a big hug for me. It’s so sweet that he wants to protect his mom.
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submom February 25, 2010 at 10:09 am

Yeah!!! You delurked yourself!!! :-)

(Dear everybody that reads my blog, Kate here is my friend in real life. I don’t have many friends so she is like a rare species that needs to be cherished. Check out her blog!)

I would give him a hug only if he would let me. He’s in the “Don’t touch me” phase right now. *sobs*
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Merrilymarylee February 24, 2010 at 9:15 am

When we were having our house remodeled, we redid our front entry, too. One night about 3 AM (husband gone, just me and the dog) I woke to, not really a noise, but a strange feeling, like the air in the house had changed. I crept down the hall and peeked around to find the front door standing wide open. My Akita, the late Howard Lee, was already out in the front yard, checking things out. He never barked, just walked slowly around, peed (why not?!) and came back inside. I locked the door again and was asleep again in five minutes, sure that it had been a lock malfunction since the dog hadn’t barked.

Had the contractor adjust the door the next day. I’m with Andrea; a big dog is such wonderful security.
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submom February 25, 2010 at 10:09 am

THAT would have freaked me out. I can’t believe you went back to sleep! I can see the value of having a big dog…
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Elly Lou February 24, 2010 at 9:52 am

Sometimes its nice to only have 700 sq ft of nooks and crannies where rapists and serial killers can hide. Also, I have an aluminum baseball under my bed…and some heinous morning breath that I’m not afraid to use.
Elly Lou´s last blog…All About Me My ComLuv Profile


Absence Alternatives February 25, 2010 at 7:12 pm

Baseball bat! That’s what I need! Easier to swing than samurai sword. Of course, I had visions of Uma Thurman as I walked around the house that night…


Robin February 24, 2010 at 10:06 am

Oh boy, well do NOT watch Paranormal Activities.
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Absence Alternatives February 25, 2010 at 7:13 pm

No ma’am. I remember your review of the movie….


Maureen@IslandRoar February 24, 2010 at 11:21 am

I love this post; it is so cute! I feel the same way at night; it was the worst part of my marriage ending, being alone with the kids in the house at night. I still keep a rotary phone next to the bed in case the power goes out.
My sister and I used to hear scary noises when we were home alone, and search the house with hairbrushes in hand. Like that could’ve helped…
Oh, and I so would have been picking up as I went along looking for the murderer. Just like you!
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Absence Alternatives February 25, 2010 at 7:15 pm

I do have a rotary phone too! But you know in the movies, the bad guys always cut off the phone lines first? Ok. I am probably thinking movies like “Clear and Present Danger” or something like that. LOL.

Thanks for telling me that you would pick up too! :-)


Unknown Mami February 24, 2010 at 2:23 pm

I can’t watch scary movies, they make my butt hole hurt.
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February 24, 2010 at 4:17 pm

I am neurotic,
I am paranoid,
To watch a scary movie would leave me
more neuroitc,
and even more paranoid.

Scary for me was when I found out Glee wouldn’t continue until April.
Lisa´s last blog… My ComLuv Profile


Jane February 24, 2010 at 6:58 pm

I’m with Wicked Shawn – an alarm system. We got one in our new house and I now sleep like a baby!
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Absence Alternatives February 25, 2010 at 7:16 pm

Do you have an extra sign for the lawn that you could give me? ;-)


secret agent woman February 24, 2010 at 7:28 pm

I rarely am disturbed by movies (of course, I also rarely watch horror movies) but once when I was home alone I stayed up late watching an NCIS episode where a serial killer caught and tortured women before murdering the,m. Every sound that night had me sitting bolt upright in bed.
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Absence Alternatives February 25, 2010 at 7:17 pm

Some movies, some scenes, are like that: stuck in my head, and I remember them often. Too often. For a long time I was afraid into any boiling pot… (Am I totally dating myself with this reference?! LOL)


naptimewriting February 25, 2010 at 12:01 am

I’m right there with you. Except I just don’t go to bed when Spouse is gone. If he traveled 50% of the time, I’d be a wreck. I worry about every freaking thing the whole time I’m in bed. And if someone closes a door two blocks away, I’m up all night.
Ugh. What’s up with this fear? I don’t know anyone who’s been harmed in their own home. I refuse to watch the news, see scary movies, read violent books…where is the fear coming from? And WHY does it somehow go away when the man who wouldn’t wake up for the apocalypse is home? He’d be useless! Illogic rules, I guess.
Sorry you were so scared. And so glad I’m not the only one who puts picture frames on shelves with books. I always thought I was weird for that.
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Absence Alternatives February 25, 2010 at 7:18 pm

Thank you! I have trouble falling asleep in hotel on biz trips. I watch a lot of Law&Order reruns because of this!


Absence Alternatives February 25, 2010 at 7:19 pm

LOL at “the man who wouldn’t wake up for the apocalypse”. True here too. ha!


William February 25, 2010 at 7:42 am

A picture frame? On e the floor? I bet a thief was in the house looking behind all the pictures to see where the safe was located.

Think of that when you go to bed tonite.
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Absence Alternatives February 25, 2010 at 7:22 pm

You are one evil evil man, my good sir. LOL.

My husband once hid at a corner and then jumped out at me. I about killed him. I made him swear that he would never ever do that to me again otherwise he would die an ugly death.


Barb February 25, 2010 at 11:34 am

And this is why I have 2 big ass dogs :D
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Absence Alternatives February 25, 2010 at 7:20 pm

Big dogs seem to be getting the most votes here! I am so anal retentive though, having a big dog would probably send me over the edge… Plus, you need to remember to feed your dogs right? If I forget to feed my kids, they rummage through the pantry and feed themselves. I do have the best kids. ;-)


Stephanie February 25, 2010 at 7:38 pm

Up until I was 33, I was never afraid of being home alone. Then one night while sleeping a meth addict decided to smash in my dining room windows with a bottle at 3:00 am screaming “give me the children”. This was before I had my son or I would have lost my mind… However, I did have two dogs (a husky and a Labrador) that HID UNDER THE BED.

Of course, now I always have that in the back of my head (it was like 7 years ago but I still can’t forget it) so every noise makes me jump when my husband isn’t home. What a big crybaby! Maybe I’ll look into that alarm system – the dogs are obviously no help.
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submom February 26, 2010 at 10:45 am

Nobody can blame you for still being paranoid after all these years. And really, 7 years is not enough time to get over that kind of terror! Had to laugh at how the dogs hid under the bed. Smart dogs! LOL. Wouldn’t you?!

Read your post and felt for the situation you are in right now. Kind of. My boss asked me to consider moving also… Good luck with your decision!
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Jen @ NathanRising February 26, 2010 at 10:23 am

I love scary movies!!!! Even though I, like you, replay the scenes in my mind’s eye repeatedly at at the MOST INCONVENIENT TIMES.

Like when I’m in the shower.
Or trying to fall asleep.
Or home alone.

But it’s like an addiction. I love my scary movies! The scarier the better!!
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submom February 26, 2010 at 10:48 am

Don’t even mention SHOWERS! Yes, I did watch Psycho.

*sobs* can’t get it out of my head. And also, HERE’S JONNY!

We painted our bedroom red. One day my cute husband decided to do this: Redrum. Redrum.
I just about killed him…
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Shelli February 27, 2010 at 2:04 am

Please forgive me, but I’m howling over here! Only because I can relate, somewhat. My father was a prankster, and loved … LOVED … scaring the crap out of me, and anyone else he could. I should blog about this; way too long for a reply here. Needless to say, I have issues when it comes to being alone, or in the dark, or worse, alone IN the dark. *shiver* I make a “trail of lights” when I walk from one room to the other at night. I feel your fear!
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