Hey, I am not the only one who thinks that the Smiley looks like a pervert!

November 13, 2009

in random

Jane over at They Call Me Jane has been calling for everybody to share their crazy search terms, i.e. the keywords with which people were led to your blog, and she calls this Friday The 13th,

Share Your Crazy Search Engine Terms Day!

It is Jane. Naturally I obliged. wanted to be in on it. (Just confirmed my suspicion by really looking the word “obliged” up: it has the connotation of doing someone a favor. Doh. It is the other way around. Hence the correction). Not only that, because she used to be a teacher, and you know, “Once a teacher, always a teacher”: I even did my homework assignment in EXCEL. Yeah, I am a teacher’s pet. Bite me. (Not to mention the free blogging idea to fill the daily quota for NaBloPoMo… But Shhh… Don’t tell Ms. Jane, please)

Unfortunately, none of my search terms are overtly exciting… As you can see for yourself: (You will also see that I don’t get too many hits. But THAT is ok. Really. I mean it… I am having fun.  More importantly, I have made a few great friends in the process…)

One search term (or group of search terms) that did get my attention is “Smiley Pervert”. There are 15 searches that used similar terms: perverted smiley faces, pervy face. I am happy to confirm once and for all that I was NOT the only one wondering: What is the deal with the smiley faces looking so similar to a pervert? Once again, the Internet helped me prove that I am not insane.

I did remember seeing the search term, “what a serial killer look like,” but it did not show up in the summary my Blog Stats showed me. Oh well. Maybe the serial killer wannabe also hacked into my account and got rid of the record because he did not want to leave any trace of him ever wondering what a serial killer looks like.

Since my own search terms are not bizarre at all, I decided to artificially provide random blogs with bizarre search terms such as,

“Cow Poop For Dinner”

“My Girlfriend Hot Mom” Warning: Searching this term will result in lots of pornographic sites. No shit.

“Dung Beetle Soup” and then “Dung Beetle Salad”

“Frog Milkshake” This actually does exist as a food item somewhere in South America. Dreamed up by one woman who, clearly, has lost her mind!

“Hippo Vomit Sandwich” Some lady is going to learn that the announcement of her pregnancy attracted this bizarre search term…

“Ninja Sex” Well, turns out Ninja Sex Party is a comedy troupe. So I modified it to “Ninja Sex Lunchroom”. A poor, unsuspecting Book Review Blog will be pondering over the stats tomorrow, wondering… WTF?

But I swear, I was NOT the one that searched for Wrinkled Boobs, which coincidentally was the genesis of Jane’s  Share Your Crazy Search Engine Terms Day bonanza.

I hope I don’t get an F in this assignment…

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

November 13, 2009 at 2:38 pm

I happen to be re-reading “Are You There God, it’s me Margaret?”.
Unknown Mami´s last blog… My ComLuv Profile


Jane November 13, 2009 at 3:50 pm

A+++! And extra credit for turning the tables and creating your own crazy search terms to baffle fellow bloggers! I love it! What fun!

Hippo Vomit Sandwich? Now that’s GOT to be an original!


Absence Alternatives November 14, 2009 at 7:58 am

@ Unknown Mami
Actually, I am ashamed to confess: I’ve never read this book. I think a trip to the library is warranted.


Absence Alternatives November 14, 2009 at 7:59 am

@ Jane
YES! I am an honor roll student! Now, let me go get one of those bumper stickers. ;-)


November 14, 2009 at 11:30 pm

OH. MY. GOSH!!! I can’t stop laughing! I found you through Jane’s blog, and I’m so glad I did because you totally just made my day! Ooohh I can only imagine the thoughts that will run through those blogger’s heads when they discover your search terms!
Jen @ NathanRising´s last blog… My ComLuv Profile


Absence Alternatives November 15, 2009 at 7:27 am

@ Jen @ NathanRising
Thank you for visiting!! I tried to send you some weird search terms since I thought “Monkey feet” would be a unique term. Eh, do you know that there is a website with that name? And there are a lot of people talking about Monkey Feet? What the…?! Anyway, I did Monkey Feet Love Play and I got to your site. ;-) But when I tried Monkey Feet Sex, well, let’s just say, Don’t try it at work!


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