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working

I am under duress at work…  I am a certified procrastinator for important projects.  I will be obsessed with it, can’t stop thinking about it, being kept awake at night worried about it, but feel at the same time utterly powerless.  It is like end of term at school with multiple papers due all over again…  The fear of failure sometimes gets too overwhelming.

I found myself humming inside my head the songs from Mary Poppins on Broadway while I plowed along on my presentation…  First up is, what else?

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Then I move on to….  “Anything Can Happen (If You Let It)”

Anything can happen if you let it

Sometimes things are difficult

But you can bet it doesn’t have to be some…


Just what I need to hear right now…  The following always gives me the goosebumps:

If you reach for the stars
All you get are the stars
But we’ve found a whole new spin
If you reach for the heavens
You get the stars thrown in

The last one is currently my “theme song”.  I am sharing with you my secret right now…  It is what gets me going on some of these days when I am so almost convinced that I suck at everything…  I just hum it as I go along with the motions until, miraculously,

I Am Practically Perfect!

(Watch from 1:03)

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One thing about working is that, when you are assigned a project whose essence you detest, you become very easily distracted.  After finding it extremely difficult to focus on the tasks at hand, while the clock tick tick tick away, and truth be told, a trip to the restroom to reapply my makeup, I made a resolution to

STOP BEING A LOSER!

I stormed back into the office.

“I am going to stop being a loser!” I announced.

“How are you going to do that?!” My lone co-worker chuckled.  Don’t worry.  You don’t have to beat him up for me.  He’s in the same boat.  Or so I think…  Hmmm…

Anyway.  I decided that a cup of Starbucks would help me leave my loser-dom.  Or at least help me get away from the computer for a while.

Ummm. Pumpkin spice latte.  One of the reasons I love autumn.

“Pumpkin spice. Skim. Extra Shot. Please.”

“And what size would you like that?”

“Extra large.”

Pause.  Uh-oh.  This one is not MY usual barista who’s threatened to not sell me anything because I used the wrong term and whom I readily forgave on account of his hotness.  This is a new guy.  Younger.  Hello!

“Extra large please.”

He looked so confused.  I almost had pity on him and was about to translate it into Starbucks lingo for him, when he asked, tentatively,

“Did you say Extra Hot?”

He he he.  I was laughing inside.  Yeah, I am Extra Hot.  Ha ha. Then, quickly, God. I need to get a life.

“Miss?”

Now it’s me who lost their bearing.  I think he’s only 7 years older than my oldest.  My mind at the same time had a flashback to the Mama Mia episode on 30 Rock when Liz Lemon realizes she does not know how old Tracy is nor can she tell…

So it applies to my group too!  Awesome! I thought.  Ooo.  I need to write a paper on that one. Then quickly, Dude, you are one of the vainest people I know.  Is this part of the mid-life crisis you are going through?

Wait.  I didn’t know I was going through a mid-life crisis…  WTF?!

I pointed at myself quizzically, like an idiot, then realized what I was doing, quickly, yet probably not as smoothly as I’d hope, moved my finger to my temple to pretend that I was going to press on my temple all along.  I raised my eye brow,

“No.”

“Would you like whipped cream with that?”

“Of course.”  Too quickly. Damn. This totally contracted with “SKIM”.  I hate irony, when it happens to me.

I don’t think I was being paranoid, but he had a look that said he also recognized the irony and was laughing inside. Probably was going to tweet about it too:

@NewYoungBarista Have to laugh at people who order Skim and then ask for Whipped cream.

Fine. Smartie pants. Then why did you ask me then? It’s totally not fair if you laid out a trap just waiting for me to walk right in.

Tomorrow I am going to go to Dunkin Donuts instead.  The man just screams at you,

“What size? Cream and Sugar?”

Then he screams back,

“Extra Large. Cream and Sugar. $2.03. NEXT!”

There is NO judgement whatsoever.

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I Hate My Job

This is the best “I Hate My Job!” post I have seen.  Found on Reddit.  Submitted by PreHack.  Read till the end:

“My job is so fucking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.”

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I want to love my airlines, I really do… Just keep bringing me the alcohol…

August 26, 2009 random

Tweet These are the grapes served with dinner on one of my UA flights. Notice the white fussy thingy in at least two places? Mold. No. I didn’t say anything to the flight attendant since I was for once upgraded to the first class, and boy, was I grateful! Besides, the flight attendant was pretty […]

Think you hate your job? Think again…

August 26, 2009 a picture is worth a thousand words

Tweet Think you have a shitty job? Think again! Now I feel much better. Back to work I go…

Define “Workaholic”…

October 6, 2008 a picture is worth a thousand words

Tweet I love this one! You can see the original (with proper credits) here. The best part is the first comment: “Hey, you should try my solution to the social web – get yourself some kids. Then you have no time for social networking…” My sentiment indeed.