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mark my word: twitter will doom us all

Who here has an obsessive personality and voted “Most Likely to Grow Up Alex Forrest” in High School? ME! I just cannot let it go.

Here’s what I wrote last week about the epidemic of the phrase “That’s so gay!”…

Let’s start with the word “Gay”.

Let’s start with banning the usage of the word “gay” as a substitute for “stupid, dumb, ugly, undesirable, etc.” from your schools.

Since I wrote “That’s so Gay” is NOT so funny! This has nothing to do with sense of humor… last February, “That’s so gay” has been gaining popularity as just another common expression. I am hearing (and seeing on Facebook) this phrase more and more often, from children younger and younger who have no idea what “being gay” means. As the phrase takes on the facade of familiarity, moving into the realm of the vernacular, taking on the identity of an idiom (because what exactly does it even mean in this context?! Children or the immature adults only know to prevent this phrase from ever being used on them… but what exactly does it mean?!) it is becoming harder and harder to fight it off.

I am tired of hearing “That’s so gay.” I really am. There are so many words in English to choose from to denote your distaste for something. Get a thesaurus. Get a book of classic insults by Shakespeare. Wilde. Because when you are so concerned about being called “gay” that “That’s so gay” becomes a popular insult, you know, you sound like a Homophobe to me. And you know what they say about Homophobes… How about this, let’s give “That’s so Beck” a try.

Once again, this is the case of “I must have been under a rock” since ladies and gentlemen, there IS has been a champaign to stop this madness, to bring awareness to the harm done by such a “harmless” phrase.

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I was really excited initially, “OMG! There IS a movement right now so I can simply jump on the wagon without having to feel so frustrated, with my panties all tied up and nowhere to go!”

Upon further investigation, I realized that the campaign was launched in 2008 by the Ad Council to dissuade people from using “That’s so gay” when they mean “stupid”. In 2008, people. That’s like the last century, no?! And we are still dealing with the same shit, and it is getting worse and worse every day.

I have been staring at this Twitter counter for a while now.

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I don’t know what’s happening with this campaign, movement, PSA. Is it still in vogue? Was it ever? But I saw this, I thought my proposed replacement phrase THAT’S SO BECK! has legs!

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Let's be creative! That's so..... Bush? As in the plant bush, really. Scout's honor.

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That’s so…

What clever, witty, humorous sayings can you come up with as a comeback?

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Watch the PSA commercial with Wanda Sykes from 2008 for inspiration if you wish. It’s as per usual HILARIOUS. (Warning: Just don’t read the comments… Trust me.) As for effectiveness? Let’s just say it was done in 2008 and I don’t remember ever hearing about this, until now. Sorry I’m all Rah! Rah! one second, and then Debbie Downer the next.

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The Fail Whale is Back!

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So how are we expected to start our Monday morning when we come back to our dreary cubicles, we start reading our emails, we find so many things to share with the anonymous Interweb, and we are “all dressed up with nowhere to go”? (Well, some smartie pants whom I adore dearly came up with a list of 10 awesome things we could be doing when Twitter is down that is mired in self mockery. Yes we know we are ridiculous, 140 characters at a time).

Without Twitter as my soap box, my mega phone, my mountain top, I am ready to burst.

Monday mornings already suck ass as it is…

How am I going to complain about having to drag myself out of bed to work? Who do I tell about the Dilbert moments in my office? What do I do now that I don’t have the venue to share my wisdom, or just things that I read and find interesting? I am a closeted SHARER, goddamn it!

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Twitter is down as confirmed by, ironically, tweets...

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Well, let’s keep our fingers crossed that this outage will not last as long and as disastrous as the Fall of August 2009 which lasted for *Shudder* AN ENTIRE FRIGGIN’ MORNING!

In the mean time, I have found quite a few stopgap websites that help ease the panic by reminding me how ridiculous all this is.

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Duly noted. But you know I am going to ignore you and the sarcasm as soon as Twitter is up and running again.

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Stolen Day

December 20, 2009

in random

I feel that we have got an extra day out of this insane holiday season…

The original plan was for me to be away for 3 days this past week on a business trip. I would come back late on Friday night and start cleaning, doing laundry, packing, addressing holiday cards, and finishing up holiday shopping ALL on Saturday, and then we would fly out to my in-law’s this morning.

Thank goodness for the snow storm in the DC area. Reportedly the highest amount of snowfall that DC has seen in at least seven years:  at Dulles airport snow accumulation reached 16 inches on Saturday, and 13.3 inches was reported at Reagan. Instead of agonizing over the prospect of waiting in the airport for indefinite time today, we had decided to change our flight to Monday morning. As soon as we made that decision, I felt physically the lessening of the winding inside my head and my body. A collective sigh of relief felt in every corner of the house.

I worked through my check list at a leisurely pace yesterday:

Laundry detergent and gift cards at Costco. Check.

Gift cards & holiday cards for Catechists and gym coaches. Check. (And I assume it is safe to wish the Catechists a Merry Christmas without the possibility of offending them?)

Hold the Mail request at the Post Office. Check.

Newspaper hold. Check.

Neighborhood watch request at the police station. Check.

Kids’ haircut. Check.

Lip wax. Ooops. I forgot. I guess I will just have hairy lips with face powder dangling off the end of my upper lip throughout the holiday.

Laundry and the dreaded folding part. Started and ongoing. (“Predecessor task” in MS Project lingo)

The chaos of packing. Started and ongoing. (“Successor task” in MS Project lingo)

Addressing holiday cards, figuring out whether the cryptic emails from my friend with no mentioning of her husband means she is now divorced, deciding whether to say anything or what to say on the cards to distant cousins who are now divorced, coming up with proper words for our Jewish friends now that we have missed the entire 8-day window of Chanukah to show that we did not forget about Chanukah and we are not sending them the holiday cards now out of our callous Christian (+ 1 pagan) hearts (Thank goodness we can still wish them a “Happy New Year!”), stuffing, licking, stamping. Check. (With NO paper cuts to fingers or tongues. Success!)

In the evening we behaved as if it were any other Saturday evening: my husband went to the movie with my 11 year-old (AVATAR, in 3D); I took Mr. Monk, my 7-year-old, to the mall because he wanted Auntie Anne’s pretzels.

What? Was I crazy to hit the mall on the Saturday before Christmas? Yeah, I thought so as soon as I turned into the mall drive and saw all the cars, moving, squeezing, waiting, and parked.

Here’s a tip for you out there from a Mall Veteran. One word. SEARS. Go to Sears and I guarantee there is a spot for you. Probably not too close if it is the last weekend before C-day. BUT still closer than what you could find at the other parts of the mall. Trust me.

So here is the GOLDEN parking space Mr. Monk spotted. Good job, my lad! I was so excited I wanted to call everybody I know.

I never want to leave this spot again!

Seriously, this was no small feat. I did not want to leave that spot when we were done at the mall. I wanted to stay there, to stake my claim, to “Put a flag on it.”

In addition to getting the best parking space I have ever gotten on a crazy day like this, my stolen day ended up on a high note also because a light bulb went up after I’d had two drinks at the stupid Rain Forest Cafe (aka the worst tourist trap because it is located inside a goddamn MALL! Why is there a tourist trap inside a mall?), ok, a fuzzy light bulb nonetheless, and a thought bubble formed:

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Social Networking

November 17, 2009 mark my word: twitter will doom us all

Tweet A dear friend of mine passed this comment on Social Networking along to me from none other than the always brilliant Non Sequitur cartoon. She received it from her doting partner whose eyes could not have rolled any further when my friend and I were comparing our notes on using Twitter… I found myself […]

20 comments

Twitter rankings: people amaze me…

October 11, 2009 random

Tweet POTUS has not been really tweeting ever since he became, well, POTUS.  I can understand how he is super busy what with running the country and dealing with the crazies.  On October 9, soon after the world learned about the surprising news that he has won the Nobel Peace Prize, he sent out a […]

Tea cosies, French Press cozies, vacuum cleaner covers, oh my. (Patented)

October 11, 2009 random

Tweet I can’t sleep.  I have either a cold or a flu.  And if I have a flu, I probably have the dreaded H1N1 virus.  So since flu symptoms include severe fatigue, I figured that if I can wake up at 2 am and writing on my blog at 3:30 am, then I probably don’t […]

4 comments

Twitter Douche Bot is a Douche indeed…

September 8, 2009 a picture is worth a thousand words

Tweet Not for pointing out that someone called me a Douche, but for putting me next to Glenn Beck…  YIKES! Disclaimer: I was not called a Douche, at least not publicly, not on Twitter at least. Someone @ me with the word "douche" in the reply.  So the Bot is not only a Douche, but […]

1 comment

Announcing my new project: Bacon-flavored Vodka…

August 30, 2009 marketing at work

Tweet Apparently Pork-flavored Vodka is gaining some traction now in the Northeast, originated from Seattle, more specifically, the Seattle-based Black Rock Spirits.  According to this online article, Bacon-Flavored Vodka: What’s Next? Eggs Bourbon? , BAKON, the vodka with an oink in it, is getting some dedicated followers because people just love bacon. Thanks to the […]

6 comments

Armageddon is here: Twitter is down and Fail Whale is not even there?!

August 6, 2009 mark my word: twitter will doom us all

Tweet I can’t believe I am saying this, but I wish Fail Whale will come back soon! We miss you, Fail Whale! We will never been mean to you and call you names again! Just come back!! You are so much better than a lot of other scenarios, we have now realized! So… by now […]

3 comments

If I were working on an ethnographic study on the Global Twitter Tribe, I would start here with Twitter Earth…

April 23, 2009 mark my word: twitter will doom us all

Tweet If you have some inexplicable fascination of Twitter, the much beloved or maligned or questioned (depending on you hang out with…) but can't-be-ignored, new kid on the block, by my troth! you definitely should check out Twitter Earth…   Twitter Earth is basically a 3D presentation of Twittervision, which shows every tweet, live, and […]