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how it all started

“The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.” Henry Kissinger

I am sure he said it in a context that was different from what I take this saying to mean.  FWIW, for some reason, it’s been haunting me.  Sometimes I see it as pessimistic, sometimes I see it as optimistic, Grin and bear it.  This is what existentialism is distilled down to, at least in my book, “Life sucks, but you’ve got to deal with it.”  When Goethe said, “God is dead,” I believe that’s what he meant: Regardless whether there is God or not, human beings need to take responsibilities for our actions.  Accountability, and the will to see things through.

As I tell my kids on a nearly daily basis: You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.

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I am never one for planning even though part of my job description involves research and I am a very good researcher if I am allowed to toot my own horn, and I guess I am, since Goddammit, this here is my blog! “Serendipity” in my case oftentimes does not come because of good luck, which I am sorely lacking hence the blog (more about that later), but because of creative thinking. Anyway, I digress…

So I was saying, I am never one for planning. I have been thinking about starting a blog just so I have some way to realize my self, and I have always thought that the Secret Inner Life of a Suburban Mom would be a good one, (sort of the same way young girls think of names for their would-be baby daughters). Notes from Underground was once a choice and would have been nice too, but I don’t want to be pegged as a literary snob or a name-dropper or a wannabe. Plus, the name is used for at least three blogs. (And of course, I am not suggesting that any of those blogs’ owners are a literary snob, a name-dropper, or a wannabe…)

Anyhow, I was saying, I am never one for planning, so tonight is a good time to start as any other time, and I really need to stop talking to myself inside my head, so I sat down and actually registered the name I have always wanted for a daughter (figuratively speaking) for my blog. I still cannot believe that this name is available. Come on! It IS a great name for a blog!

Anyway, half way through my inaugural post, it dawned on me, OMG! what if there is another blog out there with the same title? Since I am brand new in the blogsphere, I’d be in deep doodoo. (Hey, I am after all a MOM, so no naughty words here. Well, not in the first post anyway…) So I did a search, and OMG! there are so many different versions of suburban moms out there, and quite a few of them seem to have established celebrity-like presence. These moms must have 48 hours a day. Look at their blogs! Wow! Impressive! I am on the other hand, hoping to e-mail in my posts when I take the train to work or during long drawn-out meetings. (I am looking forward to the latter especially!)

So, what I am trying to say is: If you are reading this, you are probably in the wrong place. You probably have heard about a cool blog by a suburban mom who, surprisingly, is witty and humourous, intelligent and articulate, insightful and enlightening, and whose blog itself is blog-worthy. Sorry, dude, no dice. Not here. Do another search.

I am just using this here as a self-medicating device, before the downward spiral takes me too far away from my self until I do not recognize her any more when I meet her one day. This here is my therapy.

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