Who here has an obsessive personality and voted “Most Likely to Grow Up Alex Forrest” in High School? ME! I just cannot let it go.

Here’s what I wrote last week about the epidemic of the phrase “That’s so gay!”…

Let’s start with the word “Gay”.

Let’s start with banning the usage of the word “gay” as a substitute for “stupid, dumb, ugly, undesirable, etc.” from your schools.

Since I wrote “That’s so Gay” is NOT so funny! This has nothing to do with sense of humor… last February, “That’s so gay” has been gaining popularity as just another common expression. I am hearing (and seeing on Facebook) this phrase more and more often, from children younger and younger who have no idea what “being gay” means. As the phrase takes on the facade of familiarity, moving into the realm of the vernacular, taking on the identity of an idiom (because what exactly does it even mean in this context?! Children or the immature adults only know to prevent this phrase from ever being used on them… but what exactly does it mean?!) it is becoming harder and harder to fight it off.

I am tired of hearing “That’s so gay.” I really am. There are so many words in English to choose from to denote your distaste for something. Get a thesaurus. Get a book of classic insults by Shakespeare. Wilde. Because when you are so concerned about being called “gay” that “That’s so gay” becomes a popular insult, you know, you sound like a Homophobe to me. And you know what they say about Homophobes… How about this, let’s give “That’s so Beck” a try.

Once again, this is the case of “I must have been under a rock” since ladies and gentlemen, there IS has been a champaign to stop this madness, to bring awareness to the harm done by such a “harmless” phrase.



I was really excited initially, “OMG! There IS a movement right now so I can simply jump on the wagon without having to feel so frustrated, with my panties all tied up and nowhere to go!”

Upon further investigation, I realized that the campaign was launched in 2008 by the Ad Council to dissuade people from using “That’s so gay” when they mean “stupid”. In 2008, people. That’s like the last century, no?! And we are still dealing with the same shit, and it is getting worse and worse every day.

I have been staring at this Twitter counter for a while now.



I don’t know what’s happening with this campaign, movement, PSA. Is it still in vogue? Was it ever? But I saw this, I thought my proposed replacement phrase THAT’S SO BECK! has legs!


Let's be creative! That's so..... Bush? As in the plant bush, really. Scout's honor.


That’s so…

What clever, witty, humorous sayings can you come up with as a comeback?


Watch the PSA commercial with Wanda Sykes from 2008 for inspiration if you wish. It’s as per usual HILARIOUS. (Warning: Just don’t read the comments… Trust me.) As for effectiveness? Let’s just say it was done in 2008 and I don’t remember ever hearing about this, until now. Sorry I’m all Rah! Rah! one second, and then Debbie Downer the next.




Diane April 11, 2010 at 4:55 pm

1. Wanda Sykes is freaking hilarious.
2. “That’s so gay” is also an insult to happy people, so about 90 percent of English speaking people should be with you in this fight.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:06 am

I like how you do math. :-)

Kristen @ Motherese April 11, 2010 at 8:06 pm

My two year old is the king of unusual exclamations. (This morning we were reading The Tale of Peter Rabbit and he spent the rest of the day saying, “Oh, bother!”)

I’ll pay close attention the next time something odd happens, listen to what he comes up with, and will report back. Maybe he can start a new trend.
.-= Kristen @ Motherese´s last blog…On the Road Again =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 7:43 am

LOL. I remember Oh Bother. I said it too!

Linda at Bar Mitzvahzilla April 11, 2010 at 10:11 pm

Yeah, I thought I’d been hearing that stupid phrase for a long time. Well, eventually every stupid pop culture phrase disappears and hopefully ones that are so politically incorrect will go more quickly. I’m just waiting for my teen nephew who always says it on Facebook to say it in a room with my grown-up nephew who is gay to learn that it’s not okay, ever.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 7:44 am

Facebook. Yup. That’s where I saw a lot now.

Maureen@IslandRoar April 12, 2010 at 7:21 am

My kids have pretty much stopped saying it, I’m happy to report. Now they’re all over their friends…
.-= Maureen@IslandRoar´s last blog…Springtime Comes to Martha’s Vineyard =-.

Absence Alternatives April 12, 2010 at 7:40 am

Yes! You and your kids are awesome!

Jana @ Attitude Adjustment April 12, 2010 at 8:04 am

I ADORE Wanda Sykes.
.-= Jana @ Attitude Adjustment´s last blog…The Poetry of Women’s Bodies =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:09 am

I watched almost all of her acts on YouTube. The one where she was comparing between being Black and being gay is hilarious. “Mom, I need to tell you something. I am Black…” I about died from stifled laughter.

Robin April 12, 2010 at 8:43 am

I prefer to call someone a twat.
.-= Robin´s last blog…Manly Man’s Mating Rituals =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:10 am

Twat will do.

Elly Lou April 12, 2010 at 9:07 am

I shall continue to blindly refer to everyone as douches. It’s my civic duty.
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog…This Week’s Tweets =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:10 am

I salute you.

Linwood's Girl April 12, 2010 at 1:24 pm

Cheesy mustache:) Love it!!

“That’s so Sky Mall?”….I always say “that’s Bo-Bo”. Don’t ask.
.-= Linwood’s Girl´s last blog…Google and Blogger baffle me, and I am breaking the ‘rules’! =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:11 am

No! Not Bo Bo. That’s the nickname husb and I call each other sometimes. Don’t ask…

Sky Mall is FUNNY. Ugh. Now I can’t get that stupid jingle out of my head.

Merrilymarylee April 12, 2010 at 1:31 pm

That’s so Beck certainly has a ring to it.

Can we leave out substituting derogatory terms for women as substitute considerations?

I’m still reeling from the latest chapter about Constance McMillan. I had not heard about the prom setup. It’s hard to imagine people that insensitive and cruel.
.-= Merrilymarylee´s last blog…Are You for REAL? =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:12 am

Thank you for voting for “That’s so Beck.” 😉

Don’t go to the parents’ Facebook page. You may have the sudden urge to kick a kitten.

Wicked Shawn April 12, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Ok Elly, stay away from my son. Funny aside. he kept saying Douche, douche, douche, constantly, was driving me nuts. He was saying it without even realizing it. Finally, having had my fill of it and in a room full of people, I said, “OKAY, enough, I’ve warned you all I am going to, I want a definition, right now. In front of everyone.” “You know what I mean mom, he’s just acting stupid. I will try harder not to say it any more.” he immediately started to back down. “Nope, not going to cut it, you have been warned repeatedly. Give me the definition, NOW. Proper definition of your favorite word. Immediately.” (I know this seems harsh to some of you, but having your teen son sound so crass is unacceptable by my terms and I had already made my feelings on his use of this popular term very clear) So, he relented and gave a very accurate definition in the clinical sense, of the word douche. Afterwards, I asked if he felt that was, in fact, the appropriate explanation for the person (it was Prez Bush) in question, he thought about it for a second and smiled, “Guess that is one of the few things you won’t let me get away with calling him, huh?” The humiliation of giving an accurate definition broke him rather quickly of his habitual use of the term. :)
My kids never took up the “That’s so Gay” phrase, I am thankful for it, because habitual use of a phrase, as demonstrated in my story above, is hard to break. What really kills me is when I hear parents saying it in front of their kids. I just want to bitch slap them!!!
.-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog…Wicked Girls Love The Warm Weather =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:14 am

The way you handled it may actually be the most effective way. Oh how I *heart* you more because of this story.

Unknown Mami April 12, 2010 at 8:17 pm

Of course you know, now I want to read the comments, but I won’t because I will probably get upset. That’s so John Mayer!
.-= Unknown Mami´s last blog…I Comment Therefore I Am =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:15 am

“That’s so John Mayer!” I love it!

I am glad you didn’t check out the comments. In general, imo, the comments are the worst part on YouTube.

Unknown Mami April 12, 2010 at 8:18 pm

P.S. Did you see that I linked to you today?
.-= Unknown Mami´s last blog…I Comment Therefore I Am =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:15 am


alejna April 12, 2010 at 8:38 pm

I wholeheartedly support your campaign.

I’m in favor of promoting the UK expression “that’s pants.” (Bearing in mind that the UK word means “underpants.”) While it’s typically used along the line of “that’s bullshit” (if I understand right), I think it could be extended. I submit “that’s so pants.”
.-= alejna´s last blog…go fly a kite =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:16 am

Submission accepted and embraced. I didn’t know “pants” means something else in UK. I wonder whether I have misunderstood all the Bond movies because of this…

Randa April 12, 2010 at 8:48 pm

I think I want to stand up and clap or something, because I have no words. Trying to get people to stop using a word that they use ALL the time is hard. I had to keep correcting my nephews when they were visiting.
One of my high school friends came out after graduating and his parents disowned him, so my mom “adopted” him because he is wonderful. He was part of the family and we all loved him. When he moved in with his boyfriend we stayed at their house and my brothers and his b.f. were watching a show and my brother said (this was YEARS ago) “that’s so gay!” and then stopped and looked at B.F. and said…”Oh sorry…” it was kind of nice to have that lesson that early for him. I’m not sure if it stopped him completely but it did slow him down.
The funny part was that the BF instead of getting mad said “No I think that’s more lesbian then ‘gay'” it made me chuckle. I know that it’s wrong.

Oh and on topic! I like “That’s so John Mayer” hahah. That’s funny.
I am a fan of douche as well.
.-= Randa´s last blog…Damn You Depression. =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:27 am

Your mom is awesome for doing that for that boy! Your story proves exactly how difficult it is to get rid of such a usage. Sigh.

pattypunker April 12, 2010 at 10:15 pm

how about “that’s so sarah palin” i think this would legitimately express “that’s so lame.”

“that’s so dick cheney” would also work.

anyway in all seriousness, if this campaign has fizzled, it needs to be revitalized. my daughter has stopped saying it after we spoke about how insensitive it is. she totally gets it, which makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:27 am

It’s making me warm and fuzzy inside too. :-)

TheKitchenWitch April 13, 2010 at 5:48 am

That’s so Becks…I like it. Wanda Sykes is such a talent. Love her.

Alas, my stepson still uses this phrase. It grates my nerves like no other. His mom and stepdad are total rednecks and racists, so I’m not surprised…just disappointed, I guess.
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog…Veg-Head Monday: Mediterranean Grilled Vegetables =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:29 am

{{{hugs}}} You can only try your hardest to counter the negative effects from the other half of his life. I hope your side wins!!

Jane April 13, 2010 at 7:59 am

Boy, my dad was ahead of his time. I will never forget the first time I used that expression in front of him (back in the 80’s and I was a stupid teenager). He came at me like a rabid dog. That is one semantics lesson I will never forget!
.-= Jane´s last blog…Seven Kids, Three Moms and One Restaurant Health Inspector =-.

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:31 am

You dad’s awesome! No wonder you are the way you are. Now I learned the secret. 😉

“Like a rabid dog”… Funny that’s exactly how I thought of myself whenever I got a “cause”. My poor children…

Absence Alternatives April 14, 2010 at 1:31 am

This is awesome. Because I replied to each one, I now have 34 comments! Woohoo! Totally like white socks in my crotch, tissues in my bras! 😉

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