If you have mastered one-hand typing

March 12, 2010

in no manual for parenting

If you have mastered one-hand typing.

If you have mastered doing household chores with only one hand.

If you have managed to teach yourself to use the non-dominant hand because your dominant hand is now dominated by a baby that prefers your arm more than anything else.

If you curse at the mailman for dropping the yellow pages ’cause the sound of it wakes the sleeping baby who you have managed to coax into a nap after hours of walking up and down the hallway.

If you have figured out which part of the floor outside of the baby’s room squeaks and so you try to remember in your sleep-deprived state to not step on that part while you stealthily back away after putting the baby down in the crib.

If the quality of your day is dictated by the quality of naptime.

If you have ever felt the rage towards your husband or your older children for sneezing at the wrong moment right when the baby fell asleep.

If you remember the good old days when the above rang true.

.

I thought you’d get a chuckle out of this comic. In between tears maybe. But chuckles most definitely.

.

You may not believe it, but this too shall pass...

{ 21 comments }

Miss B March 13, 2010 at 12:30 am

Oh, see, when you first said the one-handed typing thing, I got all geared up for this to be a post about naughty dirty sex chat. I was kinda excited by the prospect. But then…it turned out to be sort of the opposite of that. How disappointing.

Maybe next time…
.-= Miss B´s last blog…Shredded Wheat =-.

subWOW March 13, 2010 at 9:14 am

I am sorry to disappoint you. LOL. I actually wondered whether the title was misleading even though I had no idea why?! 😉

naptimewriting March 13, 2010 at 1:38 am

Oh, man. If all that rings true and the cartoon makes you cry, you’re clearly in the middle of it. Or poised to begin again.
What about perfecting the house’s nightlight situation so you can make sure to get to the baby’s bed, the bathroom, and the kitchen without falling on a toy or a cat (including taping down the toggle for the fridge light in case you need a snack and baby is drowsy).
.-= naptimewriting´s last blog…Oh, bless you, child. =-.

Michele March 13, 2010 at 2:23 am

Oh my goodness… I absolutely love this post, and the cartoon.

So very, very true. 😉
.-= Michele´s last blog… =-.

Nuage March 13, 2010 at 4:09 am

I’m typing this comment “one-handedly” (this should be an adverb) right now. I walked to the kitchen to turn off the stove, came back to the living room, adjusted the pillows on the couch with my foot, and sat back down. All the while with the baby sleeping soundly in my arms. Our house guest blew his nose in the shower once, and that woke the baby up.
.-= Nuage´s last blog… =-.

Wicked Shawn March 13, 2010 at 7:11 am

The best is once you learn it, you never lose it, had my niece a few weeks ago….hellz yeah, I still got it!!

BTW, the blowing the nose in the shower thing….EEEWWWW!!!! I just gagged a little!
.-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog…Wicked Wednesday Q & A =-.

Jana@Attitude Adjustment March 13, 2010 at 7:16 am

Thanks for this. I go crazy when there is noise during naptime. For instance, I have neighbors whose friends beep when they come to pick them up. I imagine all the mean things I’ll say to them, but I mostly end up just giving them the evil eye through my blinds. They don’t notice.
.-= Jana@Attitude Adjustment´s last blog…Can the Internet Ruin a Marriage? =-.

secret agent woman March 13, 2010 at 7:28 am

Boy, I sure remember having to cook and do essentially everything one-handed, and how crazy it would make me if anything disturbed the baby’s naptime.
.-= secret agent woman´s last blog…It’s not just the squirrels and birds… =-.

TheKitchenWitch March 13, 2010 at 8:02 am

That cartoon is SO freaking true!
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog…Cauliflower: Edible or No? =-.

subWOW March 13, 2010 at 9:17 am

Nuage (Kate), I am so sorry! That’s always quite infuriating to me when my kids were little. Then I shouted in my head: Do over! Turn back time! Yup that’s all I wanted to use it for if I had a Time machine. LOL

Shawn, you are right! It’s like bike riding.

Jana, I am sorry. But I am LOL ’cause I could hear the dry tone in your “voice”.

Linda from Bar Mitzvahzilla March 14, 2010 at 12:38 pm

And who was ever able to successfully transfer a sleeping baby from a carseat to a crib without the baby waking up? Impossible!

Now I try not to wake my husband up from where he falls asleep on the couch so I can get in a little more writing each night before he forces me to go to bed at a decent hour!
.-= Linda from Bar Mitzvahzilla´s last blog…Tsunami-Bound Cruising =-.

Robin March 15, 2010 at 9:17 am

I haven’t done any of those, just wanted to let you know.
.-= Robin´s last blog…When It Rains =-.

ellemck1 March 15, 2010 at 12:17 pm

That was what my house was like when my sister was a baby… she would never take long naps, and even the slightest noise would wake her up.
.-= ellemck1´s last blog…It’s Day Before LOST Day and Night! =-.

Shelli March 15, 2010 at 1:19 pm

Boy does that bring back memories! SO glad I’m not at that point in life anymore! My own naps require a sound machine or loud fan so I can drown out every other noise that life decides to throw at me at the exact moment I’m entering sleep. *Yawn*
.-= Shelli´s last blog…Epiphanie Give-Away! =-.

Mama Zen March 15, 2010 at 2:10 pm

How could I ever forget?
.-= Mama Zen´s last blog…Review: Sons Of Thunder =-.

Falling March 15, 2010 at 7:59 pm

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Yeah. I am raising my hand over here. The one not holding the baby, that is.
.-= Falling´s last blog…This is Why I Don’t Get Invited to More Parties =-.

subWOW March 16, 2010 at 4:07 am

Be careful you don’t wake up the baby! I had you in mind when I wrote this. And don’t you think that game “Don’t Wake up Daddy” would be a hit amongst mothers if they change it to “God Damn it! Don’t Wake Up the Baby!”?

Aidan Donnelley Rowley @ Ivy League Insecurities March 16, 2010 at 5:53 am

Oh, I love this. And can so so relate.

It’s interesting because on the one hand, I want this to pass, this kiddie chaos, this one-handed world, but I also don’t… I’m feeling that bizarrely conflicted feeling that I want time to get on with it and stand perfectly still.

subWOW March 16, 2010 at 6:46 am

“I’m feeling that bizarrely conflicted feeling that I want time to get on with it and stand perfectly still.”

So well said!

(Have to be a bit cynical about this: tis why I am bitterly jealous of movie stars with baby nurses… They get to hold the babies and have enough sleep…)

Jen @ NathanRising March 16, 2010 at 7:24 pm

OMG! I love it! LOL thanks for the laughter, it made my evening!! :-) Nathan has such sensitive little ears… he must have Super Sonic Hearing because he hears every. Little. Thing. Sometimes I think he hears the sound of my fingernails growing.
.-= Jen @ NathanRising´s last blog…The Ultimate King of ALL Mega Poops =-.

subWOW March 18, 2010 at 7:53 am

Love what you said: the sound of your fingernails growing. LOL! Judging by the name of your post (CommentLuv) there was a record poopage over at your place?! 😉 you know, I am not sure whether this soon will pass. LOL

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