A glimpse of the future…

March 11, 2010

in no manual for parenting

This one will be short. It just happened, and I want to make sure that I capture this moment…

I worked from home today as I have been able to do when my co-worker travels since there would be nobody else in the office but me. As I was lamenting internally how much my job is killing my soul, I sighed and said to my son who was doing his homework at the kitchen table as I, “Make sure you find a job that you love when you grow up.”

“Do you love your job?”


“Why don’t you do something about it?”

*sigh* “It’s inertia. It’s a good job. It pays well and allows me the flexibility to raise two children.”

“Well. When we grow up and are out of the house, I want you to be someone that you want to be, ok?”

This brought a shock wave to my being that I am failing to describe. I put my hands to my face and cried.

“Thank you. That’s one of the kindest things anybody has ever said to me.”

“You are welcome.”

All of a sudden I remembered the words Fuck Yeah Motherhood used to describe her teenage son, “Occasional glimpses of the man he will be are awe-inspiring.”

That’s what I am feeling right now.


Wicked Shawn March 11, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Horrible little buggers that they are, challenging us, tempting us to stab them and what not, unexpectedly they will say something that reminds us exactly why we don’t run off while they’re sleeping. Somehow, no matter how poorly we may think we are doing at this parenting thing on the daily, just for kicks in moments like this, they prove to us that we are raising human beings with far greater capacity than even we are fully aware of yet.
.-= Wicked Shawn´s last blog…Wicked Wednesday Q & A =-.

mrsblogalot March 11, 2010 at 5:31 pm

L- I love him. And I definitely see magnificence in him for the future!!!!!!!

So glad you captured this moment. Perhaps you can print it out and put it away until he is older and maybe one day show it to his own family…waaaaaay in the future (-:

Jennifer Lynn March 11, 2010 at 5:59 pm

Holy Hell. Not only was that perhaps one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to you…..it was without a doubt a true reflection of who you have thus far been as a mother. Props.
.-= Jennifer Lynn´s last blog…Kentucky has more than banjos! =-.

Linda from Bar Mitzvahzilla March 11, 2010 at 6:50 pm

I know, it’s a bonus to raising kids that we don’t even know is coming! First they’re oblivious to us, then they hate us for awhile, then suddenly they recognize us as fellow travellers on the road of life. My son is my biggest fan for, like, everything! I love that, even though the little boy is gone, I have this funny, intelligent nearly 15-year-old hanging around!
.-= Linda from Bar Mitzvahzilla´s last blog…Husband in a Box =-.

Ry Sal - aka @bwdstudio March 11, 2010 at 7:09 pm

this is lovely!
aside from that, are you sure he doesn’t want something? a new car perhaps? kidding. really. I’m really kidding.
.-= Ry Sal – aka @bwdstudio´s last blog…Mari’s Random Five =-.

TheKitchenWitch March 11, 2010 at 7:13 pm

Oh! This made me a little goopy. What a wonderful thing for him to express!
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog…Facing Down My Nemesis =-.

Fuck Yeah, Motherhood! March 11, 2010 at 8:10 pm

my life, thus far, has made me distrustful of men. fortunately, I’ve somehow managed to have a hand in making a good one. the more he grows, the more I think his gender just might be okay.
.-= Fuck Yeah, Motherhood!´s last blog…Waiter, There’s A Kid In My Soup =-.

Merrilymarylee March 11, 2010 at 9:30 pm

Oh my gosh. Tearing up here. Such a sweet thing to say!
.-= Merrilymarylee´s last blog…A Yard of This, A Yard of That…! =-.

Amber March 11, 2010 at 11:24 pm

What a glimpse. Sigh. He sure will make some lucky girl happy one day!
.-= Amber´s last blog…My Kids Hate Me =-.

subWOW March 12, 2010 at 12:09 am

Wicked Shawn, that’s so beautifully said. Thank you! Exactly how I feel. And that’s why I am paranoid about this whole parenting gig. So worried I may screw it up. But I can only try my best and see where it takes us down the road…

Mrs. B: I need to print this out and take it out and read it when he drives me nuts! 😉

Jennifer Lynn: Thank you for the sweet words! Nah. I seriously didn’t do anything special, and I am really not a perfect mother. I simply try not to screw it up. “Don’t screw it up!” That’s my parenting motto. LOL. On some days, including this rare moment, I scratch my head and say Hot Diggidy Dog! I did something good without knowing how I did it!

Linda, that’s something I would like to strive for. To have such a close relationship with my children even when they are officially teenagers. I still remember the post you did over on Motherese: Not a Boy and Not a Man.

Ry, you are so right! Most of the time, I’d ask him, “So what do you want now?” But I was so shocked this time that my facetiousness failed me…

TKW, Mary Lee, and Amber: I don’t want to put up false advertisement. Rare moments only. RARE. LOL. That’s why I am making such a big deal treasuring and savoring it. This is for days when I just want to wring his neck… 😉

FYM!, m’lady, you are my inspiration here. Really. The things your kids say are hilarious and heart-warming at the same time. Even when they are trying to act all cool and nonchalant!

Falling March 12, 2010 at 12:59 am

Wow. Now poor Tankbaby has something huge to live up to: the idea that he’ll ever say something this sweet to me :)

Good on you, mama, for raising such a wonderful man-in-training.
.-= Falling´s last blog…This is Why I Don’t Get Invited to More Parties =-.

Maureen@IslandRoar March 12, 2010 at 8:58 am

Well you are obviously doing something right, mom!
.-= Maureen@IslandRoar´s last blog…Lucky Dog =-.

Jane March 12, 2010 at 10:24 am

Wow! I’m with Maureen — you are one AWESOME mom with some AWESOME kids!
.-= Jane´s last blog…The Trifecta Of Nasty Habits And Why I’d Never Date You. Ever! =-.

subWOW March 12, 2010 at 10:55 am

Falling, Maureen, and Jane, “RARE” occurrences, I swear. This is a kid that blames me for global warming and world hunger as in “Everything is your fault” at least once a week. That’s why I treasure this little patch of sunshine so tenderly. :-)

Elly Lou March 12, 2010 at 11:41 am

Ok yesterday I was kidding, but now….
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog…Secret Codes and Tinnitus =-.

subWOW March 12, 2010 at 8:26 pm

You are like the cutest, least creepy, cougar I know. 😉

secret agent woman March 12, 2010 at 11:47 am

Those are the moments that make it all worthwhile.
.-= secret agent woman´s last blog…It’s not just the squirrels and birds… =-.

Diane March 12, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Oh, oh, oh, that is really sweet. Sounds to me like you would have your kids’ support if you decided to be what you wanted to be right now, instead of waiting until they’re out of the house. What a cool family you have.

Shelli March 12, 2010 at 2:43 pm

Ok, now I’m sitting here crying, too! That was beautiful! And you’re worried about him having a girlfriend? He’s gonna make someone a terrific husband! Job well done, mom! :-)
.-= Shelli´s last blog…Epiphanie Give-Away! =-.

Stephanie March 12, 2010 at 3:30 pm

What an amazing, insightful and sweet little man. You should be so proud of him (and yourself for raising such a great kid!).
.-= Stephanie´s last blog…Thumbsucker =-.

Amanda@Brilliant Sulk March 12, 2010 at 7:30 pm

You are raising such sweet, thoughtful boys!

When we meet in NYC I’ll give you my four year old daughter’s number. Yes, she’s got a iphone. Don’t judge people! Little girls her age need to keep up to speed with the Yo Gabba Gabba gang.

Your son may call her to arrange a date in 14 years. Okay? Guys ALWAYS go for the younger chicks.
.-= Amanda@Brilliant Sulk´s last blog…I Think I Just Saved $280,000 =-.

subWOW March 12, 2010 at 8:31 pm

SAW, Stephanie, Amanda, Shelli, Diane, thank you for the kind words. They do surprise you. And as SAW and others have mentioned, it’s moments like this that makes it worthwhile. That answers the lament, “WHY DID I HAVE CHILDREN? WHY?!”

Amanda, LOL. Sure. Don’t you have two? Can’t he not choose? LOL. I hope that your girls learn to cook like their mom. 😉 And seriously, I’ll probably force myself to behave better if my son’s MIL is one of my friends… But then I worry whether this falls into the same category as “Never never loan money to your friends.”

naptimewriting March 12, 2010 at 8:34 pm

So awesome. And a *fabulous* reminder that it’s important for them to see us making choices that feed us, too, and not just them because that’s what they need to know we value. Ourselves. Them. All of it, but not to the exclusion of our happiness.
.-= naptimewriting´s last blog…Oh, bless you, child. =-.

A Vapid Blonde March 13, 2010 at 7:56 am

If you ever figure out what you want to be when you grow up could you let me in on it because all I can think about is how there has got to be more than what I am doing and how the hell can I get out of what I am doing!
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog…I Am Pretty Sure Spittling On People Is Socially Unacceptable =-.

subWOW March 13, 2010 at 9:12 am

Naptime, that’s exactly my dilemma: I want them to understand I am my own person yet I’m worried my “selfishness” may cause them to think I don’t love them enough due to the messages they receive elsewhere in the mass media.

Vapid, that’s partly what made me cry. Have no idea. Hi. I am 40 years old and I am going through not mid-life crisis but teenage angst.

Kristen @ Motherese March 13, 2010 at 2:24 pm

What a delicious moment. And how amazing that he was able to repeat to you a message he has obviously internalized from years of great parenting. Kudos!
.-= Kristen @ Motherese´s last blog…Connected =-.

Jen @ NathanRising March 16, 2010 at 7:10 pm

What a sweet child!! Awww, you’ve done good raising him to be so thoughful of others. Your kids are going to be awesome adults! :-)
.-= Jen @ NathanRising´s last blog…The Ultimate King of ALL Mega Poops =-.

Braja March 17, 2010 at 4:03 am

What a wonderful tribute to your parenting, that he can say something so beautiful….
.-= Braja´s last blog…Lunch is off… =-.

subWOW March 18, 2010 at 7:43 am

Thank you! Thank you so much for visiting and commenting!

maggie March 17, 2010 at 4:01 pm

paaaaiiiiiinnnnfffffuuuulllll. beautiful and painful. what a soulful and insightful little man. he ha defintely given us all something to think about. it is our job to be happy and satisfied people..to lead and model by example. great post. i heart you and miss you, bad. thanks so much for keeping me company in my cell.
.-= maggie´s last blog…Pain in the ass/Cry Baby Tuesday =-.

subWOW March 18, 2010 at 7:50 am

Hey there! So happy to see you! I hope everything/everybody is doing well/better. I miss you too. And hang in there!!

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