I Comment Therefore I Am: The Amazon Edition

January 12, 2010

in marketing at work

Unknown Mami Here is another edition of I Comment Therefore I Am, following the footsteps of the great Unknown Mammi.

In this era of information overload, in a lot of the news blogs, especially political news blogs, comments are often the best part. Sometimes the scariest part. The comment section is like a looking glass through which you get a glimpse into what the other end of the spectrum is really thinking, under the cloak of anonymity. Wouldn’t you know that comments are also the best part in product review websites?


Bet you did not know the fun you would encounter by prowling the world’s largest retail store. Here is one that has become a legend, a pop culture reference:

Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee: BEST comments? You bet'ya!

As of now, there are 1,657 customer reviews of this shirt. WHAT? Yup.

In November 2008, one genius shopper, or social commentator, wrote a smashing, rave review of this shirt, which has since garnered 222 comments. More than that, 17,617 of 17,783 people found the review helpful. Sheer number counts make this review a force to be reckoned with. The popularity of the review and the number of imitators propelled this shirt to some Geek Stardom. Case in point: The final episode of The Office when Pam and Jim got hitched? Dwight was wearing this shirt when he proudly declared that he would be at the bar to pick up the ladies.

The review is funny as hell. Read on:

“This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that’s when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to ‘howl at the moon’ from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn’t have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn’t settle for the first thing that comes to him…” (Continue reading)

Satirical, rave reviews are often done to highlight the ridiculousness of the high price asked for the product. For this $500 audio cable, Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable, dueling reviews have been written: Yes! It solved Global Warming! and No! It caused alien invasion!

I know. Some people have way too much time on their hands. Speaking of people with too much time AND money on their hands… SOMEONE alerted me to this Land Cruiser for sale. At $19,999.95 it is a steal, won’t you say? But the reviews are priceless.

JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank: I think this is an ACTUAL product and not meant to be a joke...

You know how I love making a point when given the chance, therefore when I saw how much the baby bath book is fetching…

If this is not a WTF moment, I don't know what is...

I had some fun…

Product reviews as a new form of satire. What has the world come to? Guilty as charged...


secret agent woman January 12, 2010 at 5:44 am

It absolutely astounds me what people are willing to pay for some items – the one I remember from eBay was a guy who was selling the wedding dress from a wedding where the bride left him – he had a photo of himself modeling it and it was getting really high bids! Crazy.
.-= secret agent woman´s last blog…It’s still cold. :( =-.

Absence Alternatives January 12, 2010 at 8:37 am

Oh. I remember that one too. He was also on GMA and Today, right? 15 minutes of fan indeed. BUT he did get the money. LOL. Good for him I guess.

A Vapid Blonde January 12, 2010 at 6:34 am

I love reading reviews espescially when they are scathingly witty…have you read this one
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog…I Love Your Blog…the Chick Edition. =-.

Absence Alternatives January 12, 2010 at 8:36 am

Oh yes yes yes. I forgot about it. It’s hilarious! There is one about Continental and the seat right by the bathroom. I need to find it.

TheKitchenWitch January 12, 2010 at 7:21 am

Oh my God! These–and YOU–are hilarious! Now I’m feeling all minxy and wanting to find ridiculous shit on the web and review it!! :)
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog…Kale Chips: Epic Fail =-.

Absence Alternatives January 12, 2010 at 8:38 am

You said “minxy”… I am going to try to be minxy once in a while too. Grrrr. (Eh, is that minxy? Or is that just cougar-y creepy? LOL)

Robin January 12, 2010 at 7:47 am

I think comment satire could be my new hobby.
.-= Robin´s last blog…My Night of Debauchery =-.

Absence Alternatives January 12, 2010 at 8:39 am

I bet you will be hilariously excellent! You and Gwen!

Elly Lou January 12, 2010 at 8:48 am

Any reference to Unicorns makes me giggle. Get down with your minxy self.
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog…The Benefits of Breasts When Swimming =-.

Absence Alternatives January 15, 2010 at 6:53 pm

Minxy… I didn’t get any chance to be minxy at all. I need to work harder.

LittleMissEnglishTeacher January 12, 2010 at 3:48 pm

Your review is HILARIOUS! I always talk in witty comments … but when I get in front of the computer .. crap. Only crap.
.-= LittleMissEnglishTeacher´s last blog…Another rant about something maternity related … =-.

Absence Alternatives January 15, 2010 at 6:54 pm

You, m’lady, has what they call “Monitor Fright”. 😉 Thank you for visiting and commenting!

Andrea January 12, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Blahahahaha! The wolf shirt is awesome. How would that look as a tattoo?
.-= Andrea´s last blog…"Top Gun Anthem" =-.

Absence Alternatives January 15, 2010 at 6:55 pm

I can’t wait! 😉

Jane January 12, 2010 at 6:11 pm

How DO you find this stuff? Hilarious! I’m going to start paying more attention to the reviews on Amazon, that’s for sure. I’ve been missing out!
.-= Jane´s last blog…Yo, Jane’s Riffin’ On Twilight, She Be All Emo And Dat =-.

Absence Alternatives January 15, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Yup. Hopefully this will replace my urge for spending money on useless things. “Review Therapy” instead of “Retail Therapy”.

Unknown Mami January 12, 2010 at 6:40 pm

Oh, this was a fun post. I’ve read the review for the wolf shirt before.

I love it when you play along.
.-= Unknown Mami´s last blog…The Useless Psychic is in! =-.

Absence Alternatives January 15, 2010 at 6:56 pm

M’lady, I’m your devout Monday follower. :-)

Melissa January 12, 2010 at 10:33 pm

Oh my land.. that comment is something else! haha

*stopped here from Unknown Mami’s*
.-= Melissa´s last blog…I Have a Confession to Make =-.

Absence Alternatives January 15, 2010 at 6:56 pm

Thank you for visiting and commenting! Love that pink leather jacket!

William January 13, 2010 at 7:42 am

Great post. I was going to leave a rave review of this post but then I was not sure if you would get the joke…i am all confused now.

Absence Alternatives January 15, 2010 at 6:57 pm

(No comment. I don’t know how to top this one. Scene.)

Mepsipax January 13, 2010 at 10:04 pm

What the fuck are we waiting for. People will waste money if we put funny comments on our products. Shit we need a product. Fuck….. Great post. Miss me?
.-= Mepsipax´s last blog…I will =-.

Absence Alternatives January 15, 2010 at 6:59 pm

Who cares about product? Let’s find a cool name, an awesome logo, and a kickass PRODUCT REVIEW first!

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” so said Sally Albright.

pixielation January 14, 2010 at 3:48 am

That’s crazy! I love the wolf review, but surely people don’t actually FALL for it? Who’s going to believe that a book has unicorn power in it?

Oh… you guys huh. You all realise that those people are a bit dumb, yes?

Now excuse me, I’ve just found a necklace that renders the wearer irresistible to men, and I’ve got to have me that…
.-= pixielation´s last blog…Aerobics on acid =-.

Absence Alternatives January 15, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Sister, hand over that necklace. Right now!

alejna January 14, 2010 at 8:56 am

You crack me up!

Now I’m off to Amazon to buy that book. What we need in this house is some unicorn magic.

And do you think the wolf t-shirt would make a good late anniversary present for my husband, or would it just lead to him getting hit on by meth addicts?
.-= alejna´s last blog…The December Just Posts =-.

JennyMac January 14, 2010 at 10:54 am

These are hysterical. That shirt? HIDEOUS.
.-= JennyMac´s last blog…A trail of condom crumbs =-.

Absence Alternatives January 15, 2010 at 7:00 pm

What do you mean? I thought Dwight looked HAWT in it. LOL. 😉

Falling January 14, 2010 at 8:49 pm

You are HI-larious. I’m going to start trolling Amazon and Ebay looking for your work, considering you as a sort of internet performance artist.
.-= Falling´s last blog…Reasons I Suck at Posting Lately =-.

Absence Alternatives January 15, 2010 at 7:03 pm

Dear Mrs. Darcy, oh, the ideas you feed me! I am sitting here getting all excited about the “Review as Performance Art” thing I could have done. *SIGH* That would have been awesome. But I would have been starved. But I probably would have been thin. Hmmmm.

Jen @ NathanRising January 16, 2010 at 10:37 pm

Wow! Hilarious! And that wolf tee? That’s just too funny. From now on, I’m going to have to start paying more attention to the comments when I’m buying a product. You find the most awesome stuff!
.-= Jen @ NathanRising´s last blog…Yet Another Shower Mishap =-.

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