If you keep a “life” blog and therefore experience existential crisis on a regular basis…

November 7, 2009

in random

You have got to read this:

Blogging for Dummies by Aunt Becky (she’s actually young and hot) over at Mommy Wants Vodka.  As someone who has experimented with making my own bacon-flavored vodka, she had me at the name of her blog…

When I stumbled upon her genuine, honest, tell-it-like-it-is advice about blogging and perhaps more importantly, keeping your sanity while blogging, I was in awe.  She has such a Zen attitude towards this whole life blogging adventure, arguably one of the most daring things each one of us, for one reason or another, has decided to embark on by baring our souls, putting ourselves out there.  The agony first about who will be reading this thing that you meant for yourself, and soon turning into how come nobody is reading it…

To see the entire list, please do the bunny hop over to her post.  The following are the ones that really struck a cord and have been keeping me thinking since last night:

“Blogging for Dummies” – selected gems from Aunt Becky’s MOST USEFUL BLOGGING ADVICE, HANDS DOWN, EVA.

  • No one will read you for a couple months. It’s okay. Soldier on.
  • If you want people to read you, read other blogs.
  • If you want more comments then comment until your fingers bleed.

And finally, this advice that made me forever in her debt since it reminded me that I am an adult and thus saved me from reliving schoolyard clique nightmares…

  • There will be bloggers who will NEVER visit your blog no matter how many amazing and witty comments you leave. Period. Move on if it hurts your feelings.

There are a lot more on her post.  Do check it out.  I have a feeling that the list may give you the peace of mind you don’t even know you are searching for…

p.s. Wondering whether she has considered making a poster out of this?  I need one on my wall for late night musings.

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I Can Only Be Me « Theycallmejane's Blog
November 9, 2009 at 5:49 am

{ 16 comments }

Miranda November 7, 2009 at 2:41 pm

I totally need one of those posters. I just found Aunt Becky I think yesterday! I’ve been blogging for a while but I think twitter has opened up my blogging world so much it’s getting pretty bad. My blog list went from like 6 to a million, I swear! You’ve seen it right?! haha! Thanks for all your comments! I’m so glad to get on my blog and see comments, it makes my day!
I remember when I first started on MSN blogs and I had a blogging friend tell me the same thing about commenting and I tried really hard to do it on MSN but no one would EVER reciprocate, so I stopped. Then I found blogger and twitter, and now I’m getting a couple more readers here and there. But sometimes I think quality is better then quantity for me. I like the people who comment on my blog. And that’s good enough right?
Today was a tough post for me! I couldn’t think of anything and it’s horrible!!
Sorry for this huge comment!
.-= Miranda´s last blog…What is Saturday for at your house? =-.

Linwood's Girl November 7, 2009 at 3:51 pm

SO SO needed. Thanks for the redirect. I must admit, I am always a little amazed when people who don’t have “professional blogs” get 50+ comments….yet THEY NEVER comment back or comment on other blogs. Note to self: Move on.
.-= Linwood’s Girl´s last blog…Living in Fear: Take 1 =-.

Aunt Becky November 7, 2009 at 8:36 pm

I’ve always, ALWAYS made it a habit to try my best to keep up with anyone who bothers to keep up with me. Do I succeed? Not always, but you know, I’m human.

I’m really flattered that you liked my tips and I hope that they helped. I know that there were a lot of other great tips in the comments as well. People know what they like and my people rarely will lead you astray.

I never, ever forgot the people who snubbed me when I first started out, btw. I don’t think you ever forget that. It’s funny how that works, huh.
.-= Aunt Becky´s last blog…Let Me Tell You ‘Bout The Birds And The Bees And Why Mommy Is Snickering Into Her Hand =-.

Jane November 8, 2009 at 8:22 am

OMG. I am currently in the middle of writing a post for Monday that is sooooooo linking back here (thus linking to Aunt Becky’s advice) I really needed to hear this today. Glad I popped by!
.-= Jane´s last blog…Jane’s Own Make A Difference Saturday =-.

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com November 8, 2009 at 6:27 pm

Thanks for sharing this. I read it and it was great :)
.-= Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com´s last blog…All I Want for Xmas =-.

Absence Alternatives November 8, 2009 at 8:50 pm

@ Miranda
You never have to worry about the comments being too long or too many here. Though I understand: I worry about that too when I comment on other blogs since I don’t want to be rude, or come off as crazy, etc. But this here is my therapy sessions so everybody is welcome to use it for that purpose too. LOL. 😉 You have to hang on! It is tough for me too esp. when I really should be paying the bills…

Absence Alternatives November 8, 2009 at 8:54 pm

@ Linwood’s Girl
Actually, I can understand why people that get a lot of comments not commenting back: there is just NOT that much time in a day. I wonder more about people who have a dozen comments AND they do respond to others but they never respond to mine. I am not saying they have to. Who do I think I am? I am not bitter nor angry nor insulted. I wonder more whether they just don’t want me to visit their blogs. I don’t want to be rude. Reading Aunt Becky’s rule, it sort of helped me make this decision that well, perhaps it is true they just don’t want me to visit, then it is ok. I will move on. There are literally thousands of blogs out there for me to discover. I shouldn’t be reliving the schoolyard nightmare in which I really really tried hard to get attention from people who just didn’t want to play with me but ignored friends that were good to me.

Absence Alternatives November 8, 2009 at 9:02 pm

@ Aunt Becky
Thank you so much for visiting my blog and for commenting. Can I just thank you again for the tips? And I hope I have quoted your post in a way that is respectful and encouraging people to visit your blog (if they are not doing so already). And seriously, for blogs that get hundreds of comments like yours, The Bloggess, and Dooce, I don’t really expect the bloggers to respond often: 1. there is just no time unless you are from a different dimension. 2. if you respond to a few, for sure you will offend some others. Egos are fragile. 😉 Oh, by the way, I am requesting a poster made of these tips. Or when you publish your book, and if it is blogging related (?), then perhaps a Pull-Out handy-dandy guide for blogging.

Absence Alternatives November 8, 2009 at 9:06 pm

Jane, I can’t wait to read your post!

Nancy, now I am worried that you may think I was referring to you. Nothing is further from the truth than that. So don’t go paranoid and thinking you have to respond to EVERY SINGLE comment over on your blog. You’ve got quite a traffic there too. And in all honesty, I’d rather you write more great posts to entertain us and inspire us. (Esp. posts that say wonderful things about middle-aged women, please). SO, MORE POSTING AND LESS RESPONDING. <--- Official request from your reader(s). LOL. 😉

alejna November 8, 2009 at 11:31 pm

Great advice! I should really check out her blog, especially since I see her popping up in the comments of blogs that I read. I do have a jealousy problem, though, when I visit blogs that get way more comments than I do. Clearly, I have to get over it.

That last bit of advice you highlighted is great. There are several blogs I read where I’ve largely stopped commenting. I haven’t entirely moved on though. Just moved back to lurking.
.-= alejna´s last blog…roasted caramelized pears =-.

Absence Alternatives November 9, 2009 at 7:04 am

@ alejna
Thank you for visiting my blog! I was going to just lurk on your blog, but when I read the post about how proud you are of MA, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and had to give you kudos. 😉 It’s a nice surprise for me every time someone new visits my blog and leaves a comment. I am trying to keep this mentality so I don’t start getting unrealistic expectations. “Lowered expectations” make a more optimistic person, as I always say. Or rather, the pessimists are in fact the most optimistic amongst us.

Robin November 9, 2009 at 8:15 am

There were a few bloggers I kept trying to make friends with and they just weren’t having it. It’s ok, I didn’t really like them anyway =P
.-= Robin´s last blog…Macho Men =-.

American in Norway November 10, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Thanks for popping by my blog! : ) I am off to get to “know” you better & the bloggging for dummies..
Sometimes I wonder WHY.. I care… not like I am making money from blogging… I like to think that it will be a diary of sorts my kids can look at one day & understand why there mommy was/is so crazy…

Absence Alternatives November 11, 2009 at 8:33 am

@ American in Norway
Thank you for visiting! I love the reason for why you blog. 😉 I read your posts about how you celebrated your husband’s 40th birthday. I am really moved by your enthusiasm and how much love is there between you. The fact that he called the next day to thank you is just wonderful.

Jen @ NathanRising November 15, 2009 at 8:57 pm

Great advice. So great, in fact, that I think I’ll just print it all out. And eat it. So it will be with me forever. And also so that everyone will think I’m a loon and will come visit my blog, the one written by the mommy who has lost her sanity and eats sheets of printed paper.

It’s better than eating PEOPLE, right? Or spider poop. (Do spiders even poop? Because I’ve never seen it…)

I’ve only been blogging about three months, so any and all advice I can get is helpful!

-Jen
.-= Jen @ NathanRising´s last blog…The Allure of The Spaghetti-Noodle Quizzes =-.

Absence Alternatives November 15, 2009 at 11:41 pm

@ Jen @ NathanRising
OMG! I am always tempted to eat the printed words if I really really like them! Not sure where I got that urge. Watching too many Cookie Monster episodes maybe? But yes, if you do do that, you would have found yourself a unique niche. 😉 Or you can just give your baby a board book. Mine ate a lot of board books when they were growing up…

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